Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
