you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize