i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize