Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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