a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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