Whod you bang
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
