So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
