So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Someone signed my nipple.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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