Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
