all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
