we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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