So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
