So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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