My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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