btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
