my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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