Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
