and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
