Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize