so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize