I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
