She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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