I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
