i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
