can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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