I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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