We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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