I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
