I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
