Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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