Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
