just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
