So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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