Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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