Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
