that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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