sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize