My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
