Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
