You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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