It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
