worst night to have a conscience
Did I show you my penis last night?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize