i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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