i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
