God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
