She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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