are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
These tits shall not be calmed
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
