ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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