Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Couch. On fire.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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