You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
