dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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