I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
