I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
