I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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