it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
