I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I sprained my soul last night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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