I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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