1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
