? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
