saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
