i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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