The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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